15 July, 2010

ZOMBIES!!!






In honor of my new favorite cell phone game, Bezombied, i pose a question. Which do you like better, Shaun of the Dead (2004) or Zombieland (2009)?

I think I know how this one will go. Zombieland is newer, had a bigger budget & has real live Hollywood stars. But Shaun of the Dead came first & in my opinion is brilliantly funny. I loved both of them and do find myself talking about Zombieland quite fondly but I think I still prefer Shaun of the Dead.

Your thoughts?

14 July, 2010

7 Ass Kicking Chick Flicks

So, I was just playing Uncharted 2 on my PS3, thinking that it would make a good movie & thought that I should blog about movies based on video games & of course Resident Evil came to mind immediately. The only problem with this idea is that the only other video game based movie that I could think of was Super Mario Brothers. "Let me re-think this blog", I thought.

So, in honor of Resident Evil, I give you 7 Ass Kicking Chick Flicks.

#7. Hard Candy (2005).



This one isn't ass kicking in the traditional way but before you judge me too harshly let me explain.

Hard Candy stars Juno's Ellen Page as a 14 year old girl who meets a creepy uncle type guy on the internet. She suspects him to be a pedophile & proceeds to tear him a new one. She doesn't go through the movie blowing things up, slaying zombies or vampires or taking down some evil crime syndicate but she makes this guys life a living Hell. It is a bit gut wrenching to watch & keeps you at the edge of your seat.


#6. Domino (2005).





I'm really not sure what it is about this movie that I like so much. Maybe that's it's based on a real person. Keira Knightly plays bounty hunter Domino Harvey, daughter of actor Laurence Harvey and former Ford model. It's a rich girl with nun-chucks kind of story. You can't go wrong with nun-chucks, right?


#5. Planet Terror (2007).



Directed by Robert Rodriguez. Half of the Grindhouse double feature that also featured Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof. Stars Rose McGowan as a former stripper & aspiring stand-up comedian who loses a leg & gets it replaced with a machine gun. Need I say more.


#4. Resident Evil (2002).

resident evil movie Pictures, Images and Photos

Resident Evil is actually a really cool movie & no one kicks ass like Milla Jovovich (we can just pretend that pile of dog poo Ultraviolet was never made right?). This would probably be in the top two or three except that, while still good, the two sequels that followed (2004's Resident Evil: Apocalypse & 2007's Resident Evil: Extinction) just don't hold up to the original. I am however excited to see Milla kicking ass in 3d in Resident Evil:Afterlife which is due to hit theaters on September 10th of 2010.

#3. Sin City (2005).




Here's another Robert Rodriguez movie. This one based on Frank Miller's graphic novels. The movie is visually stunning and incredibly accurate when compared to the original drawings. It's filled with great, extremely quotable dialog, good special effects & some fantastic performances. Mickey Rourke is a revelation as Marv, Elijah Wood's silent portrayal of Kevin is great & Benicio Del Toro is also spectacular. The ass kicking chick part comes in right after Alexis Bledel delivers the best line in the movie ("Awe sugar, you just gone and done the dumbest thing in your whole life.") Devon Aoki proceeds to get medieval on some asses as deadly little Miho with samurai swords & throwing stars, ridding Del Toro of a hand. One can only hope that sequels are made & fast.

#2. The Fifth Element (1997).



More ass kicking Milla Jovovich. This is the movie in which we found out that she COULD kick some ass. As a matter of fact in this she plays a supreme being, capable of saving the world from pure evil. This movie has it all. Cool special effects. A good story. Good acting. Humor. Action. And, a mostly scantily clad, Milla.

#1. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) & Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004).



If I had to pick, I'd tell you that I prefer Vol. 1 but let's face it, this is really one long, ass kicking chick laden Quentin Tarantino movie. The title of this blog does not contain the words "ALL TIME" but c'mon, is there anything better than this? Not only is the main character a complete bad ass who dispenses with hundreds of baddies, but a good number of those baddies are also bad ass, ass kicking chicks. Gogo Yubari & O-Ren Ishii are two of the greatest characters I can think of. They're so cool that we named a couple fish in our fish tank after them. Okay, that doesn't really prove my point but you know you can't resist a Japanese school girl with a giant metal ball covered in razor sharp blades on a chain that she swings around & hurls at our hero, and Lucy Liu is fantastic as O-Ren. The movies are full of quotable lines (as with any Tarantino movie) and when O-Ren cuts off a guys head and says, "So you all will know the seriousness of my warning, I shall say this in English"... well, that might be one of the best lines ever. This is Tarantino in top form, and that's saying something.

Wiggle your big toe.

13 July, 2010

Father’s Day 2010

For Father’s day this year my family got me 4 presents. I’ll list them for you.

#1. They wrote lists of all of their favorite things about me. The biggest reasons that they love me. I’m going to keep them to myself but you should know that they made me laugh, blush, gush & get a little teary. They were very sweet lists.

#2. A Book called ‘I Can’t Sleep’ by Knock Knock. It’s an inner-truth journal. A journal for passing the time when insomnia strikes and my brain is circling in on itself, cannibalizing the trivialities of the day and exaggerating the ticking of the clock, reminding me that every minute spent awake is another minute closer to when I’ll have to get up, though many of the great artists and sages were insomniacs & that’s part of how they got so much done, so if I can’t sleep I might as well write and channel my misery into something productive. Their words, not mine. You see, I have a hard time falling asleep. I can’t shut my brain off. Once I’m asleep I’m usually good. In fact, most of the time, it’s as hard to wake up as it was to fall asleep in the first place. Harder even. I’m pretty sure that I’m nocturnal. I function better in the dark. We’ve been through a tough few years with work, finances, house stuff like sinkholes & what not and this hasn’t helped. So the book is something to help with that. You list in it all the reasons that you can’t fall asleep on that particular night & maybe it will help you find some rest.

#3. Another book. ‘Listography’ by Lisa Nola. It’s basically your life in lists. They give you a topic & you fill in the blanks. The topics vary but here are a few.

“List your favorite films”
Some of mine: ‘Labyrinth’, ‘Donnie Darko’, ‘The Empire Strikes Back’, ‘Eurotrip’, ‘Sin City’, ‘Fight Club’ & ‘Toy Story’.

“List your favorite T.V. shows of all time”
Mine: “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, “My So-called Life”, “Heroes” (season one at least), “24”.

“List your favorite bands”
Mine: Counting Crows, Pearl Jam, Rage Against the Machine, Drive By Truckers, Led Zeppelin, Soul Coughing, Soundgarden.

“List your biggest pet peeves”
Mine: When people blow their nose in the middle of a restaurant while other people are eating.

Some of them are likely to not get filled in on paper. “List the strangest places you’ve had sex”, “List people you wouldn’t mind having sex with”. You never know who will get there hands on it, you know?

This could help with the insomnia too. Or not. When I can’t sleep, if I start filling in a topic like “List your favorite songs of all time” I could probably write until the sun comes up.

#4. A special collector’s edition of Rolling Stone called 500 Greatest songs of all time. I like to add “as selected by Rolling Stone” to the end of that title. You see, I like lists. Especially if they are about music or movies or TV. Music lists get me going the most. When someone starts to tell me the best songs, bands, albums, guitar solos, etc. of all time they’ve got my attention. I’ll go through and say things like, “I can see that” or “are they nuts? That shouldn’t be that high on the list” or “I can’t believe they left off (fill in the song, band, album, guitar solo, etc. that got the shaft)”. That’s kind of where I decided to go with this blog. I’m going to make lists. Lists about movies, TV, music. Basically the things that entertain us. I know, there are a million blogs about these things. Well mine will be in list form. I’ll try to make it interesting. I won’t just tell you what my favorite ten of this or that is every time. Sometimes, just not every time. I’ll probably start with a discussion on the Rolling Stone list. Like maybe, The top 5 songs that Rolling Stone left off their 500 Greatest songs of all time list. Or the 5 songs that shouldn’t be on Rolling Stone’s 500 greatest songs of all time list. We’ll see. I hope I can find some people who are interested in reading. Let me know what you think.